Official Joke Thread!

[AJ]

Three friends all died and went to heaven at the same time. Saint Peter
meet them at the gates and said to one of them "welcome to Heaven! here
is your reward." after saying that Saint Peter immediately handcuffed
him to a extremely unattractive woman. "Saint Peter! why is this my
heavenly reward?" the man asked?
Saint Peter replied, "when you were five you killed a bird with a
stone." Saint Peter then turned to the next guy and did the exact same
thing for the exact same reason. He was asked the same question and
answered the same. finally he turned to the third guy and said, "Welcome
to Heaven! Here is your reward." the third man was immediately
handcuffed to a beautiful girl. extremely happy the man walked off. the
other two men, who had stuck around to see what their friends fate was,
were outraged. "How come he gets a beautiful girl and were stuck with
these? We can name a few things that he did that were worse than ours!"
Saint Peter said, "When she was five she killed a bird with a stone."